Joshes and Joshettes, it’s been twenty-one days since my last post but it’s been nearly two months since I've actually written something meaningful. What do I mean by that, well my last couple of posts have been on technology, books and philosophy rather than a topic post. I’ve held my tongue for a bit too long, so let me give my readers some real advice for once.

A couple of years ago I did a post inspired by Kevin Smith about Why Not People vs Why People. I enjoyed that post and this post may seem like a similar post but it’s not. I’m not going to sit here and try to explain the differences; however, if you read to the end, the differences become apparent. As an early disclaimer, I am using my personal experiences and observations to convey my opinions. There are no medical studies or statistics backing my words, so take them for what they are my personal opinions. With that out the way, I can talk unhinged. I’ve noticed that we humans, have the compulsion or need to prove ourselves to others. We always compare our lifestyles or our material wealth to our peers and families. This has been going on for ages and we call the later part “Keeping up with the Joneses”. I’ve done posts about the Joneses in the past, that’s why in this post I want to touch upon the need to prove ourselves or rather the need to seek approval. Confused, here’s an example. A child makes an ashtray for their parent during arts and crafts. The child rushes home to give the ashtray to their parent and after giving it to them they stand there to hear what their parent thinks about the gift. They are seeking approval that they did a good job. You may think that this only applies to children but what about an office worker who puts all their time and effort into a presentation. Even if they know they killed it, they don’t feel like they did unless a peer or a supervisor tells them.

Now that you understand what I mean about seeking approval or proving oneself, I can talk about why it’s a bad thing. When we seek approval for things from outside sources rather than trusting our gut, we end up hurting ourselves in the long run. How so, well let me start by telling you a story I heard from an unlikely source, a Twitch Streamer. This streamer was offered half the ownership of an Esports team as long as he covered the upkeep for the team. The upkeep at the time would have been between ten to fifteen thousand a month. The streamer saw potential in the team and was willing to do it until he spoke to his friends and family about it. He like many of us was seeking approval of his decision and because none of his inner circle agreed with the idea, he passed. Since he liked the owner of the team he used his connections and reached out to a gaming organization. The owner of the team only wanted forty-thousand dollars for the team (he was deep in the red and was an active player on another team so it made no sense to keep the team) and another organization was ready to buy it for that price. The streamer told the gaming organization to offer them double the asking price and the owner would sell it on the spot, but the organization didn’t do it. Two months later after the team was performing well, the same organization that had passed on buying the team ended up purchasing the team. Instead of paying eighty-thousand dollars, the organization ended up spending $700,000. You may say that the organization lost about six hundred thousand dollars but they weren’t the biggest loser in this deal. The streamer was the real loser because if he agreed to the owner’s terms he would have spent only thirty-thousand dollars and he and the owner could have split six hundred and seventy-thousand dollars. The streamer’s gut told him it was a good idea but he decided to listen to people who did not know anything about that field.

Now that I told a story about a random person, let me tell a personal story. I could easily write over a thousand words about how no one wanted me to become a writer. I was told I had no qualifications to start a blog and no one would buy or read my book, yet here I am writing as we speak. So let me retell a more recent story. On September 17th of this year, I wrote my first phone review in years and I enjoyed writing it. Years ago, I applied to be a phone reviewer for Tom’s Hardware but I never heard back. Writing that post made me want to do more posts about technology and I began contemplating starting a tech site. Do you know what the first thing I did before starting the site? I asked my friends and family about it and as you can probably guess from this post, I didn’t do it. I was told that I don’t post often as it is, yet I want to run two websites and two podcasts. Another person told me that there was no profit in opening a new site because I don’t run ads and I would be doing all the posts by myself. I’m not going to lie, it takes money to run a website but it’s not going to break the bank. I know many of you are now saying that I’m a hypocrite because I listened to others rather than taking action. Well, I am but I’m writing this post because I am going to do it because it’s what I want to do. This is a mentality that I need to adopt because worrying about what other people think is killing my other endeavors.

Right now, It is nearly impossible to get me to sit down and be productive. I desperately want to write and work on my podcasts and on my book but I can’t. When I start working on the book, I second guess every single line that I write. I never had this problem when writing my first book because I just wanted to do it to prove a point. I made a crapload of mistakes (forgetting to add the ending is one of said mistakes) and I don’t want this to happen to this book but even worse, I want everyone to enjoy the book. Fiction books are written for the sole purpose of entertainment but that’s not what I mean when I say enjoy. I say enjoy but what I really mean is I don’t know if the readers will accept my book. Sounds dumb but it’s a belief that many of us have, that we are not enough. (For a real in-depth talk about I am enough, search Marisa Peer on YouTube.) When I originally wrote my first book I wanted it to be a modern take on the classic Hardy Boys series but by doing so the book came off as a cheap imitation. Even though I am working on a sequel to it, it’s nothing like the original and has a darker tone to it and it’s going to be hard to figure out the culprit (because I don’t even know who it is). The thing is I am now worried about the length of the book, if there are enough cliff hangers, is the story believable and if it will sell well. I want to please everyone but myself and that’s why it’s hard. For my podcast, I haven’t done an episode because I’m worried about the number of listeners rather than worrying about my actual audience.

I could sit here and talk more about why we shouldn’t listen to others and tell more stories, but I won’t. I already said it’s hard to drop the mindset and I mean it. I’m working on forcing myself to be more productive, this post is a testament to my efforts. I’m not using hot buzz words or talking about trends instead, I’m writing from my heart. Also, I am typing this while sitting on my backyard in thirty-degree weather while being hungry as hell (haven’t eaten since 6 am and it’s 8 pm). Why, because it makes me want to complete my task. Once I’m done with this I can go inside and eat. You don’t have to be as drastic as me but just do me a favor and think twice before you seek approval from others.