Joshes and Joshettes, today's post is kind of self-help/personal development post. In my last post, I discussed what an excuse was and now I'm going to explain why it's okay to say no. Let me explain this in some more details.

Like most of my posts, this post was inspired by an external source; the song What Do You Mean by Justin Bieber. The lyric "when you nod your head yes but want to say no," really got me thinking, it's hard to say no. By now, we've all seen that meme of you telling your grandmother you're not hungry. She won't take no for answer, what are you to do? Simply say no and stay firm. In theory, it's easy but when attempting it, it's hard to say the word. Honestly, there are hundreds of studies and other posts that go over why it's hard to say but that's not what I'm here to talk about. I want to talk about why you must learn and implement no into your life.

Back when I was younger and working with a certain co-worker, my vocabulary lacked the word no. Whenever I was asked to for a favor I turned into a yes man. I don't know why but I couldn't tell the person no.The person was constantly broke and always asked me to buy breakfast and they would get me next time. Lunchtime was a replay of the morning and there was never a next time, I always paid. Whenever work became busy, this coworker had to go to the bathroom or had to answer a call so they asked me to cover. Maybe I was naive, inexperienced, or some other adjective but the truth is I was a pushover. I would love to tell you that one day I said enough was enough and I put my foot down but that never happened. The person got fired and that was the end of that but I did learn to never get taken advantage of again. Prime example, a year later at the same job, a co-worker asked to borrow five hundred dollars. I've lent out money in the past and had to wait years for it to be paid back. This time I said no and it's a good thing I said no because that person never returned to work. In this case, saying no saved me from getting screwed over.

I remember a couple of years ago, I decided to quit drinking alcohol for a bit. I was drinking every night after work and I wanted to stop. What do you think happened when I told my so-called "friends" that I was quitting alcohol? I was hit with a guilt trip, they turned my good intentions into an evil deed. I didn't understand it at the time, but many of our peers do not want to see us succeed. Jealousy and envy are real and you will get dirty looks for telling others no. If you want to follow a dream, aspiration, or goal you must make that your number one priority and tell those who wish to waste your time, no. If their influence on you and your aspirations isn't positive then you should say no. Unless they are paying your bills and putting food on your table then their opinions do not matter. I have a friend of mine who was constantly saying yes to their family. They were constantly hanging out with their family and it took a mental and financial toll on them. They learned how to say no and in less than a year, they were able to save up enough for a down payment on a rental property. They were able to say no because they realized that their family's opinion of them did not affect their goals.

There is one last person you must say no to and it's nearly impossible to tell them no. It's not your grandmother, it's you. You must learn to tell yourself no if not then you will have a hard time hitting your goals. Let's say your goal is to get out of debt or to buy a house, then when that new flashy iPhone comes out you have to tell yourself no. If you want to become fit then tell your bed no and wake up early and put in the work. If you want your side hustle to turn a profit, then say no to Netflix and start grinding. If you want to write a book say no to your excuses and finish chapter eleven (referring to myself btw). Some might disagree with me on this. They rather sugar coat it by saying not right now. I want the new iPad Pro but not right now. Sounds similar but it's not the same no is definitive and leaves no room for discussion. Not right now leaves some wiggle room to haggle with ourselves. Just say no and leave like that, when the time is right the pieces will fall into place. But for now, until you hit your goals, if it doesn't move you one step closer to your goal, the answer is always no.

That's it for this post, go out there and exercise the word no. Kids are masters at saying no, have they figured out the meaning of life? I don't know but I do know the power of no is great. Learn to implement it in your lifestyle and you will see results. Remember to be successful it's your right, duty, and responsibility.